Last week, my son was arrested in South Carolina. He was pulled over at 2:00 am, he was returning from work (emergency plumbing repair) and his name was ran alerting the officer of his outstanding bench warrant in New York.

For those that don’t know my son is addicted to drugs and is a “Cronic Relapser” or another term used is “Revolving Door Syndrome.”

A “Cronic Relapser” is a person with a substance use disorder who constantly goes to rehab, gets clean, leaves rehab, then uses substances again. This cycle for my son has been reoccurring for over twelve years.

In September he went to South Carolina with the hopes of getting help for his “Substance Use Disorder.” He flourished there, got clean, got a job, made friends, and got an apartment. All by himself.

He now sits in the city jail waiting to be picked up and extradited back to New York. New York has twenty-one days to retrieve him or SC will have to release him. I can’t imagine that New York would go to SC for an individual with a bench warrant on the charges of “stolen goods” when they are releasing violent criminals daily. Truthfully, I don’t care either way.

However this article is not about him, it’s about me and how I chose to deal with his constant arrest and chronic relapses. Had this happened a few years ago I would have been on a plane to SC or at least I would be hiring an attorney. For sure, I would have been in the closet crying ridden with fear and shame.

However, through the years, I have learned that if I go and save my son from the consequences of his actions then I am really doing him an injustice. He needs to feel the pain of his actions — “Hitting Rock Bottom” is not a bad thing. It may save his life.

Today, I tend to myself by reading something from an Alanon book that will calm my co-dependent self. “Thanks for listening.”